TEP's Guide to College Bars - Part I: What To Order

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I don't know if you know or not, but yours truly is currently enrolled in a collegiate undergraduate program so I can further my education and be the first person in my family to get a college diploma. The main reason for this is, quite understandably, the current global economy.



Because, apparently, you now have to have a goddamn college diploma to be able to unsuccessfully try to take over the world, while a complete retard gets to run it for at least four years.

Sometimes, it's enough to drive a penguin to drink.

Teh Evil Penguin Hits It Big

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My fellow denizens of teh interwebz, I have exciting news that has come to me just three days ago!

Teh Evil Penguin on Writer's Block

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Unless you've been living under a rock for the last few weeks (or just happen to not follow me on Twitter, I'm a man (er-penguin) for the ladies. However, with this whole Warren Jeff's thing...

You know what? Fuck it. I can't type a damn thing tonight.

Teh Evil Penguin on Stupidity

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Stupid people piss me off. Now, I'm not talking about people who didn't do well in school, airheads, waterheads, or even jackasses.

Teh Evil Penguin on Hollywood

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Since I'm a broke Antarctic psychopath doomed to watch redhead MILF gloryhole porn on Jizztube, I haven't been able to see any of the blockbuster movies hitting the big screen. And, by what I've seen in the last few years, means I haven't missed anything but boring bullshit and half-cracked ripoffs.

This isn't to say that I'm 100% appalled at what seems to be the utter self-destruction of Hollywood as we know it, there are some movies that I've missed and some out now that I legitimately want to watch.

Teh Evil Penguin on Obesity

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Okay, so I'm not the thinnest motherfucker in the animal kingdom. Comparatively speaking, if Vladimir Putin was a lion, Queen Elizabeth II was an old hen, and Moammar Gaddafi was the drunken gorilla I taught to pick its nose at the zoo when I was three years old, I would be akin to Kim Jong Il.

"Short, fat, and bat shit insane."
That being said, there's one group of people that pisses me off. They piss me off more than the Jersey Shore lookalike fags, wiggers with their pants below their ass crack, and Michael Bolton. In fact, their very existence fuels my seething hatred towards most of humanity.

These people I speak of, are fat people.

Teh Evil Penguin on Casey Anthony

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I know I was going to hold off of posting new original content until August, but this topic still isn't dropping off of the face of the planet like Challenger did and like I thought Atlantis would earlier.